It’s camping season again! When you go camping, you will meet a wide variety of characters. From the person trying to start a fire without kindling, to the campfire singer who only knows one song. Here are 13 more people you see at every campfire. I’m sure you’re one of them.
1: The one who thinks they know how to set up a tent:
“No really, I’ve set it up before!” They always say. “When I did it without people watching me, it looked so much better than that!” Or “No really, I did know the fly goes on top!” If you really have set up a million tents, then you probably won’t mind if someone helps you with this one!
2: The one who wears shoes in the tent: This is the person who always yells “Why is the floor always muddy?” “Who keeps tracking in this dirt? If I had my own tent, it would be so much cleaner!” Everyone in their tent agrees on one thing: This person needs their own tent.
3: The roaster: This is that person who thinks literally everything needs to be roasted over a campfire: The things they roast include, but are definitely not limited to: berries, apples (which are technically berries), sandwiches, Oreos, grapes, and chewing gum. They will refuse to eat anything that has not been roasted for at least two minutes. At least they’re only roasting their own food, which brings me to the next one:
4: The one who roasts non-edibles: This is the person who sees everyone roasting their food. They already ate, but they still want to join the roasting party, so they have to get creative. The things they roast include but once again, are not limited to: leaves, sticks, paper plates, matches, plastic spoons and glow sticks (based on a true story). Or they might boil their lemonade if they don’t have anything to roast. Even though they will not be eating what they roast, they’re much more determined to make it look perfect than the people who are actually roasting food!
5: The person who forgot their socks and deodorant: You are not borrowing mine this year!
6: The snore police: “Someone was snoring last night! I don’t know which tent they were in but I know it was coming from the northeast!” (This person brought a compass and is proudly using it.) “If I hear snoring even one more night, I will SOAK your sleeping bags for the rest of the trip! No one will be able to snore then!”
7: The one who can’t stand all the puns: Why didn’t you like my egg joke? I thought it would crack you up! Come on you know it was egg-cellent. Okay you’re right, my joke about pizza was kind of a dead-pan joke. It was a little cheesy too. But you have to admit that you have a blast listening to my space puns. Before I tell a joke about space, I always plan-et out first. I get that it can be hard to listen to my camping puns. They’re a little in-tents.
8: The whittler: This is the person who keeps every single piece of driftwood they find, because it has the potential to be carved into something. They usually don’t even get around to carving it, but at least we could use their pocket knife to cut open the box of graham crackers for s’mores!
9: The unfortunately sunburned: “I never get sunburned I don’t need sunscreen!” Soon turns into: “Don’t touch me I’m in pain!”
10: The treasure-hunter: This person is always stopping to search for things. If there’s an arrowhead within 50 feet, this person will find it. Also, If there are even three half-ripened blueberries near the path, this person will stop the whole group to go berry-picking for twenty minutes.
11: The singer who only knows one song: They learned a camp song several years ago and think it’s hilarious, so they want to make sure everyone else knows it too. I agree with this person, their song is hilarious. The first time.
12: The one who refuses to use kindling: This person is determined to prove that needing to use kindling to start a fire is a myth and the best way to start a fire is to light a bunch of matches and set them on a log. Apparently it’s “so much faster” and “it worked last time!” This brings me to the last one:
13: The fire tepee genius: They make sure everyone on the campsite knows exactly how to start a fire, and every little intricate step involved in building the perfect campfire. If anyone ever forgets a step, they will put out the fire with a stick and rebuild it “the right way.”
If you don’t know which one of these you are, quick! Wear your shoes in a tent or tell some bad jokes. You don’t want to be the unfortunately sunburned!
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